The end of a marriage, or any long-term relationship, is a difficult time in any situation. Whether the relationship has broken down because of infidelity, abuse, or for simply falling out of love with one another, your ex-partner has been a significant player in your life.

When going through a divorce, it is important to take care of yourself, so here are some positive tips to help ease the strain of such a difficult time.

It’s OK to be sad 

Even if your ex-partner wasn’t fair to you, at some point you will have loved them and it’s OK to feel sad about losing the person they used to be. Friends and family might be repeatedly telling you that you’re better off without them, and that might even be true, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong for mourning the loss of your relationship if that’s how you feel.

If you have been with an abusive and manipulative ex-partner, and are confused about how you’re feeling, talking to a professional can be enormously helpful in order to help you move on.

Get good representation 

Everyone likes to think that if they were ever to separate from their partner, things would be amicable and civil, but unfortunately more often than not, this isn’t the case. Marriage comes with a lot of legal benefits, but if you are to split up it can cause a legal headache and cost you a small fortune in fees.

It is important to get good divorce advice from professionals who can help explain to you your options.

Don’t involve the kids 

If you have children, then try to avoid fighting with, or speaking negatively of, your ex-partner in front of them. You may feel a certain way about your former partner, but that is between you and them. Kids pick up on a lot more than they are given credit for, and seeing their parents separated will be hard for them without having to feel caught in the middle.

Try to be civil with your ex-partner 

On the back of avoiding fights in front of the kids, if it is possible for you to have a civil relationship with your ex, it will make you both feel better and hopefully result in a smoother divorce. Becoming single again after a long-term relationship can result in many challenges, and will take some getting used to. If you can reduce the stress levels of the divorce proceedings by being courteous to each other, it will make things easier.

Look after yourself 

 It’s perfectly fine to feel sad about your divorce, but make sure you aren’t letting those feelings get the better of you. Treat yourself to something nice, spend quality time with your family and friends (they’re the ones who will get you through this). Maybe even consider a relaxing getaway to help you find some peace in all the chaos.

Taking care of yourself and showing yourself some love is the key to getting through something as difficult as divorce.

It’s not a nice experience for anyone who goes through it, whether they want it or not. Yet it is good to remember that change can be a really positive thing, and what happens next is what you make of it.