Mommy Guilt and the Holidays?
7:38 AM
I have been thinking a lot about this lately. From seeing pictures others post about their awesome family activities, to posts on Facebook about how much some people are spending on their children for Christmas, it is easy to feel guilty as a mom. Should we though? I honestly believe that we all do our very best as parents, and as long as we are, we shouldn't feel guilty if we don't do as many fun activities or spend a certain amount on presents. This is easier said than done though.
For me, some days I can do a lot and other days I don't have a second to spare. The days when I don't have a lot of time for one on one with the boys, are the days the guilt sets in when I see a mom doing a fun activity with her little ones. Also, we are a one income household, where my income is all there is. I also have four boys, so I can't go out and spend as much as others can with only one or two children or two large incomes. I know this, but it doesn't stop the holiday mommy guilt from creeping up sometimes.
I know I am not alone, but I am hear to tell you all, that it doesn't have to be this way. Know that what you do for your family and children IS enough and it is what YOU can do. That's really all that matters, and at the end of the day if your children know you love them, there shouldn't be any guilt.
26 comments
Amen.
ReplyDeleteI think the guilt started for me right after I found out I was pregnant. If I didn't eat the best, I felt guilt. If I felt guilty, I felt guilt (worried baby would be disturbed by my emotions)...and on and on.
Since my son has autism we spend most of our money on treating him and I can feel very guilty that we dont spend more on the fun things.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, even if I made a million dollars a year,I would not spend a lot of money on my son's Christmas gifts. You're providing for your family and doing the best mom you can, you should be proud of that.
ReplyDeleteI believe we Moms would find "something" to feel guilty about. lol. It's a part of being a mom. :)
ReplyDeleteI never got a ton of presents or anything expensive as a child, and I was always happy. Don't feel guilty! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! It seems that even after making time to do fun family things during the holidays, I always feel guilty that we didn't do even more.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a normal reaction to feel guilty over things. I do it too.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty. You are a great mom and your boys are truly blessed.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time with this too. Many times I feel like I'm taking time away from them. But then if I didn't blog we wouldn't live as comfortable be able to do the fun things we do.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel guilty nor do I care what others get or do for their kids. My children are well cared for, clothed, and we always have family time. there is not much more they can ask for
ReplyDeleteI have been jealous of everyone having fun with those Elf On The Shelf. I don't think I would be good at keeping up with it, but others are making it look so fun.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I think sometimes we get to wrapped up in what other people are giving their children. There is so many more important things you can give your child. You can give them your time, attention, emotional support. I wish more poeple would realize it's not about all the gadgets. It's about what kind of children you are raising. Just do your best day in and day out. Thanks for this great post!!
ReplyDeleteAren't moms just the worst at feeling guilty? I know! My daughter was coughing for a 2 weeks and kept telling me she was fine, that everyone had the same cough. (She's 16) I finally took her to the doc and she has bronchitis and I'm like, this is my fault! I should have brought her in sooner! UGH!
ReplyDeleteI feel guilty too. I'm working outside the house, just blogging, but you know that takes a lot of time!!
ReplyDeleteit is the quality of time that matters not actual amt of time nor money.
ReplyDeletejennifer marie
lilnursejen at yahoo dot com
As a single mom, just I do the best I can, and spread it out throughout the year. For the holidays, I try and keep the emphasis on decorating and celebrating with friends and family, rather than gifts.
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Some days I feel like I have no time for my girls and it makes me feel horrible!
ReplyDeleteI'm a single mom of 5 and from the comment's here, none of us are alone when it comes to feeling guilty about our children in some way or form. I have to say thank you for this post because I needed a reminder about this as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this post, I really needed to hear this today. I've learned that love is much more important than material things, and my kids know that I do what I can, even though it may not be much.
ReplyDeleteAll I can do is do the best I can. No guilt here.
ReplyDeletei dont think you should feel guilty, although i understand.. hopefully things get better :)
ReplyDeletevanitizebaby at yahoo dot com
Thanks for your comments ladies. I know we all do the best we can and I am happy if I could make some of you feel better. Trust me, none of us are ever alone.
ReplyDeleteThat’s really nice of you I agree with you a 100 percent. I think the kids will understand you very well and I’ve faced such situations too, I wish the best to happen to all.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't matter how much money we spend on then, it's the time and care we give them what matters.
ReplyDeleteI get mommy guild over gifts during the holidays, like when my daughter has more than her brothers under the tree b/c hers costs way less. I always feel like they need to have the same amount and have got to stop thinking like that.
ReplyDeleteLike we tell our kids, try your best! As long as you are trying your best, don't feel guilty!
ReplyDelete