Are You a Jealous Blogger?
8:59 AM
I totally am. Don't go getting all excited, I am not trying to call anyone out. Heck, do you think it is fun for me to admit that I am one of "those" people? The kind that gets bit by the green-eyed monster. Although, if we were all honest with ourselves, it is something we all struggle with from time to time. Why do I bring this up now? Because it has been holding me back from being "all I can be" for lack of a better phrase, and I am hoping by sharing my experience with all of you, it may help you to not make the same mistake as well.
Don't get me wrong, I am more than capable of being happy for someone else and giving credit where credit is due. I know some incredibly talented, smart and caring bloggers who have earned every bit of success they have gained. That being said, when I see a great opp, trip or experience just pass me by, it can get under my skin. I start second guessing myself. Why do I not have more comments on my blog? Does everyone hate me? Why can't my stats be as high? What do I have to do to get companies to notice me? See, I am a bit of a perfectionist and the hardest part about blogging for me has been to realize that there will always be someone better than me. That is true for all of us, unless we are rocking it out like the Bloggess or Dooce. Since I do not have a collection of taxidermied animals, I am guessing I will never rock that hard, but it is something to aspire to.
With this self doubt and jealousy comes a lack of drive. Instead of letting this fuel me forward, I let it hold me back and all but gave up. Then, something amazing happened. I began to let go of that little voice inside me that said I needed to be perfect, that said I needed to measure up to someone else, and I got back to blogging because it was fun. I decided that I would get back to doing what I love to do and the hell with anything else. Do I still feel a twinge of jealousy from time to time? Sure I do, but it comes with a side of gratitude to be doing what I am doing and the ability to be genuinely happy for someone else as well.
By the way, it takes a long long time to climb back out of a rut just to get to the point where you were before you started self loathing, so I suggest you skip that part and get right to the rainbow pooping unicorn ending. Okay?
41 comments
I completely understand where you are coming from. I try to look at it this way: the people that are getting better opportunities than I am, they started somewhere too...and one day I will get there. Until then, I keep plugging along!
ReplyDeleteI understand too. Sometimes it seems like a looooonnnngg uphill battle, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteGreat outlook Jenn. I had the hardest time comparing myself to those who started their blogs the same time as me. It was just something I had to power through and become okay with where I was at.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely can seem like an uphill battle at times.
Yes, I suffer from the green eyed monster from time to time. Especially when I see people who get to attend blog conferences. Sigh. I want to learn more so badly but it's either feed my family or go to a blog conference. Oh, the sacrifices we make...
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I'm totally jealous of how many facebook fans you have. :P
LOL Thanks Shelly. I went to BlogHer last year. The conferences can definitely be expensive, but I lucked out with a sponsor at the very last minute. Keep trying to reach out to companies you have worked with in the past. I know you will get there!
ReplyDeleteBoy do I ever understand this! I want to be all that, but I have to be happy just being me.
ReplyDeleteall I can say is that you rock...HARD. There are likely a few bloggers jealous of you from time to time ;) <3
ReplyDeleteI feel the same sometimes when I'm turned down and passed by, but then I think about it again and realize that there are so many of us out there, it's just hard.
ReplyDeleteI do get jealous sometimes but for me its more about being upset that I am not being referred for great opps, not so much reviews but there are bloggers that have known me for almost three years now and I have only ever been referred to a company once and even then I still left my info with 20 others. THAT makes me more upset than anything I think.
ReplyDeleteI only get jealous about one thing, Entertainment opportunities. But even though I'm jealous, I'm still super happy for others. I don't equate the two if that makes sense. Yes I may be dying of a broken heart, but that doesn't mean I'm not screaming for joy for you.
ReplyDeleteLee
I do, mainly when I see bloggers that don't deserve it :) I know that sounds so bad, but sometimes the meanies need to be put in their place, not flown around the world and treated like royalty ;)
ReplyDeleteI think everyone gets jealous from time to time! It's human nature. But I think it's how we react to our jealousy that gets us in trouble. I struggle at time...wanting things other people have or get. But then I look at what I do have and remember that everything is for a reason and there's a bigger plan at work that I just don't know about yet!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not the only one. I hate to say I get the same way when I have had really good opps myself. But I too sometimes think why not me? What didn't I do? What did I do? etc.
ReplyDeleteIt has gotten better in 2012 because I have taken a step back and am concentrating on what I do rather then others.
Hugs!
I definitely get where you are coming from Candy and you as well Lee. I can totally understand being completely happy for someone and still having the sting of jealousy.
ReplyDeleteShasta, it doesn't sound bad and sometimes that is exactly what should be done. LOL
That is the mentality I had to finally adopt Colleen. I had to focus on what I do and why I do it instead of what others are doing.
I'm totally the same way. I try not to let it get to me, I'm years behind in hard work. I'm constantly comparing myself to other bloggers though.
ReplyDeleteI just love your honesty, so much. I am such a jealous blogger, that it has completely kept me from blogging altogether. How sad is that?
ReplyDeleteAngela
I get bummed sometimes too when I see others get the "great" stuff but then I take a step back and realize what I'm doing and the opps we're getting suit us just fine.
ReplyDeleteAngela, I was dang near to that point. The sad part is, my blog was doing really well when I lost interest and all but gave up. Then I realized I was only hurting myself by not doing something I love.
ReplyDeleteUgh, we've all been there. It's hard not to be jealous when you see others getting all these amazing opportunities that you know you'd be a great fit for. I think that if anyone says they don't get jealous every now and then, they're probably lying...
ReplyDeleteSome days I feel like all I can do is keep my head down and work on my skills... improve my photography and get back links and comments out there. Sometimes great things pop up and I look forward to working with my dream companies soon. Jealous? From time to time, but persistence seems to be a key. Thanks for being honest.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely a jealous blogger sometimes. I try not to show it, but sometimes it is hard when you see statuses and posts all the time about neat opportunities. That's when I have to focus on all of the neat opportunities and $$ I've been able to make with my blog. But you definitely aren't alone!
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand, mainly when it comes to paid opportunities and trips. I try to just be happy for everyone else and think of the great things I've done, but I still get jealous.
ReplyDeleteI guess blogging is something you really have to stick with. I just started my blog in January of this year (www.nomoredirtydiapers.com). I'm trying to read and research as much as I can about bringing traffic to my blog. So far, people I know are reading it but I have only had a couple of comments so far from people I don't know. You mentioned approaching companies for different opportunities. How do you go about doing this?
ReplyDeleteYou have to email their media or PR departments (you can find this info on their contact us or press pages) :) its slow going but sometimes it pays off!
DeleteSure I can get jealous. I like to think I write good blog articles that have some meat to them, but then I get nothing. Then I realize that isn't true because I have had some lovely people tell me that something I wrote about changed their child's life or allowed them to open up and get help. So maybe I don't get the big opportunities, I'd like to think one day I will, but I do get to make a difference in people's lives.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. Blogging is tough because much of it can seem one-sided. I constantly ask myself: Why am I doing this? I work so hard but don't have the comments and stats that others have. Why? Is something wrong with me? I'm still struggling but my family is a great support :)
ReplyDeleteMy family is really supportive too TerriAnn, which makes it a little easier to dig out of a rut. I think a lot of it stems from struggling with self esteem growing up, which sometimes carries into feelings of inadequacy when blogging.
ReplyDeleteAnn, I am going to email you. :)
I have those same self esteem issues. Even if I'm not jealous of others, seeing great opps that I wasn't even considered for sometimes nags at old insecurities, like "no one likes me!"
DeleteI try to ignore it as much as possible! :)
I know exactly how you were feeling. It's kind of what I'm going through right now. I'm trying to pull myself out of it because it's doing me no good having that "woe is me attitude" and quite frankly I'm annoying myself!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
I totally could have written this! But even Dooce and The Bloggess have major issues too, so having a popular blog isn't going to really change that much about your life. At least that's what I tell myself.
ReplyDeleteIts not terrible to be jealous...becuase it makes you work harder!!
ReplyDeleteI think you are a great blogger
trisha
momdot.com
Lindsay, trust me. It does you no good. That is exactly where I was an my blog paid a pretty price for it. Hoping you can get back on track and back into enjoying blogging again!
ReplyDeleteGreat point Hildie! I am sure these pregnancy hormones had a bit to do with my funk as well.
Thanks Trisha!
Your awesome for writing this post!!! I love your honesty & your blog! Keep up the great job!
ReplyDeleteHUGS. Sometimes that gets to me too and other times I realize that i too have been blessed. I suppose we all get a lick off the tootsie roll stick but it's about what we get when we get to the center and that for everyone is different. I find that when I've lost all my umf.. and will to blog along comes this amazing opp that pulls me right back in and gives me the energy to go one. There's amazing opportunities around the corner for everyone we just need to find that corner and skip around it. HUGS
ReplyDeleteThank-you for your kind words Charlotte!
ReplyDeleteTricia, you couldn't be more right. Can we just make sure my lick off the tootsie roll pop is cherry flavored? LOL
Thank you therebelchick for your information about approaching companies. Kathleen, I look forward to your email.
ReplyDeleteI got your email and sent the information over Anne.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people feel this way not only blogging but in life! What a great post. Recently at Blissdom Jon Acuff said "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle". It just made so much sense. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the jealousy if you let yourself!
ReplyDeleteI love that line Emily. Sorry that I missed Blissdom even more now. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI think we have all been there. I started and was flourishing then life happened and I had to let my blog go now I am doing what I can to build it back up again but it's hard sometimes. Occasionally I get a little green eyed of course.
ReplyDelete