50 Shades of Motherhood

9:33 PM


There has been a huge fuss about the book "50 Shades of Grey." Even if you live deep under a rock like  me, you have at least heard of it if not read it. It has women drooling. I have no idea why, because I have not read it, but it does. That got me thinking today in the car about what I fantasize about and trust me, it has nothing to do with anything in that book. If you asked any mother what she most would want, a man with a whip and chains would likely not be the first thing that came to mind. Five minutes of quiet time on the other hand might be. So, I decided to create a list called the "50 Shades of Motherhood," that lists that things that most moms truly get excited about!

1. Getting 5 minutes of quiet time without having to give the children cough medicine.
2. Being about to visit the bathroom alone and pee with the door closed.
3. Not stepping on Legos or Barbie shoes 2,358 times a day.
4. Having a floor stay clean for an entire day, without the need to re-sweep or re-mop.
5. An empty laundry basket.
6. Clothing not stained with spit up, drool or vomit.
7. An unsolicited thank-you.
8. A foot rub.
9. A back massage with nothing expected in return.
10. Children who do chores without whining.
11. A day without children arguing or fighting with each other.
12. A quiet car ride.
13. Not having to share dessert with children.
14. Actually finishing a book.
15. An hour without crying.
16. Not being asked what's for dinner. Trust me, it's always food.
17. Not being asked "Are we there yet."
18. No pee on the bathroom floor.
19. Well behaved children in public.
20. Control of the TV for one night.
21. A mowed lawn you didn't have to nag for.
22. Dinner cooked by someone else.
23. A freshly made bed.
24. Flowers without asking.
25. A hug in public from an older child.
26. Being told they are pretty.
27. Having the time to do their hair and makeup.
28. A shopping spree.
29. Breakfast in bed on a day other than Mother's Day.
30. Unsolicited "I love you's" from children.
31. No grass stains for a week.
32. Shoes taken off at the door.
33. Clean rooms!
34. A maid service.
35. A clean car.
36. An empty dishwasher.
37. Fresh smelling towels and clean sheets.
38. No feet smell in the children's closets.
39. A month without illness.
40. Quiet bedtime with no drinks of water, millions of pee trips, or kids talking to each other.
41. Any book at bedtime other than fox in socks for the millionth time.
42. The death of the PBS show Caillou.
43. No one in trouble at school.
44. Not having to say no, stop, don't or ewwww for a day.
45. Your favorite song on the radio.
46. A morning show you can listen to with the kids in the car and not be afraid of what is coming next.
47. Clean animal cages.
48. Children who brush teeth without being asked.
49. 4th grade math homework you don't have to Google.
50. A girls only vacation.

Have any you would like to add?

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25 comments

  1. I agree there needs to be a book published haha.

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  2. Definitely agree with a lot on this list, especially, "Not stepping on Legos or Barbie shoes 2,358 times a day." I have nightmares about this...

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  3. great list. i agree with most of them.

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  4. I could so use a foot rub right now. My feet are killing me.

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  5. 51: when asked to have an animal it isn't you scooping poop.

    ellen beck
    tannawings at gmail dot com

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  6. I am sure all of these are things Mom's look for....don't forget Dad appreciates many of the things too!

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  7. great post-my favorite--4th grade math homework you don't have to Google:)

    sheilatf52 at yahoo dot com

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  8. This is a great list. I love #16. What else would be for dinner? Most of these I can really relate to. I think you have hit the nail on the head when it comes to what mothers think about.

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  9. Love the title! So funny, but so true!

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  10. I love peeing with the bathroom door closed.

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  11. RachelandJeramie FreerSeptember 25, 2012 at 11:12 AM

    Love this! I especially love #10 and #4.

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  12. I love these! Number 16. Not being asked what's for dinner. Trust me, it's always food.I love that!!

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  13. haha. this is funny. #16... but not from my kids... from my husband! lol

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  14. Haha to funny, yes number 16, very funny!

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  15. Great list, I'm adding "I'm coming" which is what my daughter says every morning again and again when I tell her to hurry up or you are going to be late for school.

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  16. Well, just dealt with:
    - A month without one of my kids "getting sick" all over the house
    - A day without my three year old saying "Buy why? But whhhhyyyy? Whhhyyy daddy?"

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  17. Hahaha I can so relate and my kids are older- it NEVER ENDS!!! As for not reading the trilogy (that was always what I wanted- to finish a book in a reasonable amount of time so I didn't forget the beginning by the time I got to the end) you aren't missing anything but a sense of disbelief (not at the sex scenes but the repetitive drivel) and your brains leaking out of your ears. ;)
    Great post.

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  18. These are all so true!! Why do they always want to eat my food?

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  19. LOL! I'm glad Goo never wants to eat my food.

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