My Surrogacy Birth Story

10:14 AM


As most of you know by now, little surro baby Carlene made her way into the world on the 4th of July. She definitely kept things interesting the entire pregnancy and the end was no different. I wanted to share my surrogacy birth story below, but it is a birth story, so if you do not like that sort of thing you may want to skip this post. While I am sad to see the end of my surrogacy journey that has seemed to consume my life for the last year and a half, I am absolutely thrilled to have helped to create a family and to see them happy together!


{False Alarm}

This birth story is actually going to start on July 2nd. Why? Because that is the day I thought I was going to have her. On Monday evening I started having regular contractions that were uncomfortable, but certainly not unbearable. When they got to be every 4-5 minutes apart I called my mom and she came in to get the boys. Matt and I walked around Walmart for an hour or so because it was the only place open that late and then we headed off to the hospital.

At the hospital, they did say I was having regular contractions, but there had been no change since they checked me at the doctor's office that morning and I was still 3cm's dilated. I was sent home and told to come back if the contractions were every 2-3 minutes. Once I fell asleep that night, they stopped.

On Tuesday, Matt and I walked at least 6 hours at the Mall and went bowling, trying to get things started again. The boys were with my mom an hour away and I didn't want to pick them up just to have to bring them right back. Plus, I felt bad about having her watch them for a false alarm. Unfortunately, nothing really happened on Tuesday and I went to bed a bit discouraged.

{Was That What I Think It Was?}

Wednesday morning I got up and was intending to go get the boys from my mom's house. I went to sit on the couch and felt a small gush of liquid. I didn't think it was my water leaking because in all my pregnancies, my water has never ever broken on its own. Also, it was only a small amount and I shrugged it off as an unstable bladder. As the morning went on however, it happened more and more. I let my mom know and Matt and I walked around the mall for a bit more. Once I was sure it was my water leaking, we headed to the hospital again around 4:30pm.

{It's Go Time}

Once at the hospital, I was hooked up to all the usual monitors. Carlene looked great, but there were no contractions. There was a test done to determine whether it was actually my water that was leaking and it came back positive. Once that happened, I was admitted to the hospital and taken to a labor and delivery room.

Unfortunately, I was still not having contractions and the doctor who was on call for my OB would not allow Pitocin to be used for VBAC's. I was really starting to wonder how we were going to get labor started. My midwife came in and discussed putting in two internal monitors. One to measure the contractions and the other to monitor the baby. I agreed and she went to work. In the process the rest of my water broke and apparently that is all my body needed to get up and go. When she put the monitors in I was at 4cm's dilated and almost completely effaced.

I called the guys at about 6:20pm to let them know I had been admitted to the hospital, but was not having contractions and that it could be awhile. As soon as I got off the phone with them, the contractions started hard and fast. At one point I was having double contractions and the nurse came in to make sure the monitor wasn't crazy. I like to labor naturally and in all of my births have never used pain medication of any kind. After about an hour and a half of this labor though, I was about to give in. I had had pain and contractions like this with my boys, but only in the last 30 minutes when I was ready to push. Before that, the pain was something I could work through.

Around 8:00pm I asked to be checked and was at a 7, by 8:30pm I was at 7.5 cm's, but was feeling the urge to push with contractions. I decided to try and wait it out until 9 and if I was not ready to push, I would get some IV meds, as I could not concentrate through the contractions anymore and there was no break between them at this point. When the midwife came in at 8:45pm, I was only at an 8 and I was given the option to try and push through the rest of the cervix or to get the IV meds. Not wanting to ruin my record of natural labors, I decided to push through the cervix. Ummm. This is not easy to do, but at around 9 I had it gone and was ready to push the little girl out.

She decided to throw one last twist in there though. She was sunny side up, looking at my stomach and the midwife would need to rotate her before she could come out. This took a while too and was pretty frustrating. It took another 15 minutes or so to get her rotated, but by 9:15 I was ready to push her out, and I do mean READY! I kept pushing and pushing and everyone kept telling me she was right there. I am pretty sure at one point I accused them of lying because they kept saying she was coming out and she definitely was not. I also said "I'm sorry" about a million times, because that is what I do. In the end, she did come out and for those who have labored naturally, the feeling that comes after that last push is unlike anything I could ever describe. The relief is amazing and it was wonderful to know I was finally done.


She was not a fan of her first bath. 

All cleaned up and so pretty!

Carlene was born at 9:24pm on the 4th of July, weighing 8 lbs 1 oz and was 20 inches long. Her daddies had started driving down as soon as I called them, but we knew it would be the next day before they arrived, so Matt and I took care of her that night. She was a perfect angel and didn't cry one time. The next afternoon, her daddies arrived and on the 6th, they took her home. 

Carlene and her daddies!

I know she will be forever loved to pieces and I could not be happier for my IF's who are absolutely in love with her. My hormones are still running all over the place and I'm still a little sore, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat. 

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48 comments

  1. It's so great to see a photo of the dads looking so so so happy! Congrats Kathleen!

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  2. What a great post! It's so nice to see the dads so happy... Congrats to everybody!!

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  3. Great job Kathleen! She is beautiful and they look super happy. You are amazing :-)

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  4. So exciting! Congrats to the new family!! :-)

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  5. I bet those daddies are over the moon in love with her. What an amazing gift you gave them.

    Hope you are recovering well....

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  6. Great job Kathleen! She is beautiful!

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  7. She's adorable. My first was induced, and my second had to taken by C-section.

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  8. What a beautiful gift you gave. She's a sweet little thing, and I'm glad she'll be very loved!

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  9. Well, you look beautiful, and she is so cute (love that bow hat, our hospital doesn't have those!)

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  10. I think my hormones are still all over the place because this totally made me cry! You are so amazing! That picture of Carlene with her daddies is beautiful!!

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  11. Amazing. Just amazing. Your heart, their love, everything. Just amazing.

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  12. What a generous act! I need to remember that during this 3rd trimester of carrying my own. ;)

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  13. You are amazing! They look like a happy family.

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  14. Thanks to all you ladies for stopping by and for your kind words. Surrogacy is truly a wonderful thing to be a part of and I am grateful for the chance to say I have done it.

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  15. Congrats to all of you! That was an awesome gift you gave, and she was born on the perfect day. Great timing little one!

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  16. What a beautiful family you've help created. Hugs to you and weepy is fine. You deserve some time to process it all (((HUGS)))

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  17. Goosebumps reading this!! What a wonderful person you are to do this for them. She is beautiful and you mama, take time and recoop!! HUGS!

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  18. What a beautiful story... you are amazing! A beautiful baby and love the name!

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  19. She is beautiful!!! And look how excited her daddies are!! So proud of you!

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  20. You are so amazing! Good Job! Priceless gift!

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  21. Oh Kathleen! That's so sweet. I hope to do this someday. She is so beautiful and Daddies looks so happy! Great job <3

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  22. What a beautiful thing you have done!

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  23. aw, the looks on the faces of those Daddies says it all! She WILL be loved to pieces.

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  24. What a fantastic story! You are a true blessing to this family, as is their new daughter Carlene. She's a lucky little girl. Hugs to you!

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  25. I think you are an amazing person. Thanks for sharing her birth story and congrats to everyone!

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  26. Congratulations! You are AWESOME! Carlene has a great birthday!

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  27. You're amazing Kathleen! What a great gift you gave her daddies!

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  28. Thanks again all! She really does have the best birthday ever. Everyone will always be celebrating on her birthday with fireworks.

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  29. Congrats on the wonderful gift you have given in your help to create a family. You are amazing!

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  30. What a beautiful story! Congrats to all of you - she is so beautiful1

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  31. What a great story. I literally cried at the pics of her with her daddies (silly hormones). Great job Karhleen and what a beautiful family.

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  32. I'm still in awe of what you've done. Coming from a girl who was a terrible pregnant person, you are a rock star for helping your IF's being a family of their own. <3

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  33. What an amazing story and what a compassionate, sweet, kind thing you have done to be a surrogate! I loved reading about this and enjoyed the pictures!

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  34. What a beautiful gift! I am so glad all went well for you both. Congrats to all!

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  35. She is absolutely beautiful! What an amazing story, and such an amazing thing you did. I bet her daddies will be forever grateful. I hope you have a speedy recovery!

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  36. This brought tears to my eyes. What you did was so amazing. I could never do it but man what a gift you gave and her Daddies look so incredibly happy. You are awesome!

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  37. What an amazing gift you gave them! You're awesome! Get some rest! :)

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  38. Congratulations! She is beautiful. What an amazing gift to the daddies!!!

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  39. They look so happy with their baby girl! So amazing what you did!

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  40. You are an amazing woman, congratulations to you and to the daddies!

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  41. Congratulations K! You done good work!!

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  42. How wonderful to read the beautiful "end" to a story we heard a year ago. Congrats to you and the new happy family!

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