Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's Okay to Feel


Do you ever just give yourself permission to feel? If you are a mom, I bet your answer to that question is no more often than it is yes. This is something I noticed the other day. As someone who is solely responsible for the financial well being of my home, the care of four boys and everything else that comes with that, I often shut out feelings in order to get through the day. One thing I learned throughout this past surrogacy journey though, is that it is okay to let yourself feel. In fact, it is healthy and can enable us to be better parents and healthier happier people in the end.

So don't be afraid to feel:

Sad
Mad
Upset
Afraid
Worn Out
Happy
Excited
Loved
Whatever...

It is okay to be sad. As moms, I think we are conditioned to be the strong ones. The unfailing rock for our children. The problem with this is, no one can be happy all the time. Holding in sadness can quickly lead to depression though and instead of being sad for 10 minutes you may find yourself in an endless loop of inward depression that there is no way out of. Give yourself permission to have a good cry. I assure you will not be any less of a mom for it.

After I gave birth to Carlene a few weeks ago, I was very weepy. At first I tried to hide it, because it wasn't what people "expected" to see. The natural assumption was that I "wanted" the baby and was sad about giving her away. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. She was never mine in the first place, and I am thrilled she is with her loving daddies. I had hormones and emotions that had to be dealt with though. Know when I started to feel better and get back to normal? When I finally let it all go, had a good cry and gave myself permission to feel. 

Just because you are a mom and are strong for your children, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel. So open the floodgates every once in a while, scream your happiness from the rooftop or punch a pillow now and then. I promise, you will feel better. 

Kathleen Bunn

17 comments:

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

There are so many hormones after birth. It's good that you let yourself go and get some of that out!

Stefanie said...

I totally agree! You did a great thing.

Courtney said...

I'm never afraid to let it out.. My emotions are all over the place with this pregnancy.. I cried and threw a fit last night over my husband throwing away my favorite crackers.. He thought they were old.. I just bought them and prepped my pickles and cream cheese to eat it with.. then they were missing! Ah... Pregnancy.. :)

Billie said...

Great reminders. I think it's very important to express yourself, whatever you're feeling.

The Rebel Chick said...

You have a really good point here - when you don't allow yourself to feel those feelings, and keep them bottled up, things just get worse!

Colleen (Shibley Smiles) said...

This is so true I'm often just trying to be strong and once in a while my emotions show.

Kelly said...

Oh I must have cried buckets after the Little was born. My hormones were all over the place and it didn't matter what I was thinking about I was crying. It's so important to just let that stuff out so that you can move past it and grow.

Our Small Hours said...

Great post. So true.

MomStart (Ashley) said...

Thank you for writing this. You're right. Moms do need to give themselves permission to feel... So proud of your own feelings.

HeliMom said...

Great post, great reminder. Thanks.

April Decheine said...

I totally agree! I feel so many different feelings with myself and try to figure out what is causing them :-)

Jennifer (Double Duty Mommy) said...

great post!!

Connie said...

Hormones are vicious! After giving birth, perimenopause, menopause - no need to ever hide them, it's part of life (((HUGS))

Notorious Spinks said...

Great post. I try to always let my feelings out.

Debra Pearlstein said...

Oh I agree with you one hundred percent!

Maggie said...

I wasn't expecting the emotions with pregnancy. It's been one of the hardest things to deal with.

Elaina (A Time Out for Mommy) said...

This is such a great post! Having kids can be so overwhelming and we as moms never take time for us!

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