Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's Okay to Feel


Do you ever just give yourself permission to feel? If you are a mom, I bet your answer to that question is no more often than it is yes. This is something I noticed the other day. As someone who is solely responsible for the financial well being of my home, the care of four boys and everything else that comes with that, I often shut out feelings in order to get through the day. One thing I learned throughout this past surrogacy journey though, is that it is okay to let yourself feel. In fact, it is healthy and can enable us to be better parents and healthier happier people in the end.

So don't be afraid to feel:

Sad
Mad
Upset
Afraid
Worn Out
Happy
Excited
Loved
Whatever...

It is okay to be sad. As moms, I think we are conditioned to be the strong ones. The unfailing rock for our children. The problem with this is, no one can be happy all the time. Holding in sadness can quickly lead to depression though and instead of being sad for 10 minutes you may find yourself in an endless loop of inward depression that there is no way out of. Give yourself permission to have a good cry. I assure you will not be any less of a mom for it.

After I gave birth to Carlene a few weeks ago, I was very weepy. At first I tried to hide it, because it wasn't what people "expected" to see. The natural assumption was that I "wanted" the baby and was sad about giving her away. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. She was never mine in the first place, and I am thrilled she is with her loving daddies. I had hormones and emotions that had to be dealt with though. Know when I started to feel better and get back to normal? When I finally let it all go, had a good cry and gave myself permission to feel. 

Just because you are a mom and are strong for your children, doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel. So open the floodgates every once in a while, scream your happiness from the rooftop or punch a pillow now and then. I promise, you will feel better. 

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