Making the Decision to Medicate Your Child

12:15 PM

I can take no credit for today's post. It is a guest post from one of my most favorite people online. I have had the pleasure of meeting Rhea from offline twice and online almost everyday. She is one of the sweetest and funniest people you could ever hope to meet and I am proud to call her my friend. She is sharing a very touching and personal guest post with us today and I would love it if you could leave her some love! You can also check out Amanda's post today on the same topic.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD in Kindergarten.  It was a condition I had suspected for a very long time but tried to dismiss it.  I didn’t want to be one of “those parents” with an unruly child that just blamed ADHD instead of taking the blame for her child’s rotten behavior.  But when his Kindergarten teacher asked me one day if I had thought about evaluating him for the disorder I was both relieved and heartbroken.

I was relieved to know that I wasn’t just imagining it and I was also crushed to think that my child would forever have a label.

Anthony, the loud one.

Anthony, the obnoxious one.

Anthony, the one with ADHD.

I thought he would never be just Anthony again.

I had to come to terms with this and I had to mourn for the “normal” child that I thought I lost.  I was mostly just heartbroken for him.  No mom ever wants to see her child struggle in anything.  His whole life was going to now be a struggle.

It was a whole year before I even told him he had something called “ADHD.”  I did not want him to feel bad about himself.  This beautiful and happy child with the neatest personality and old soul trapped inside a little six year old body.  I did not want to lose that.  Not yet.

It took me even longer to come to the decision to medicate him.  It was not a decision I came to lightly.  My husband and I said long before we ever had children that we would never put our kid on meds for ADHD.  That it was just a lazy card for people with no parenting skills.

Ha!  I was so arrogant then.

Today, my son is on the ADHD medication called Concerta.  So far I am very happy with it.  Unfortunately, I had to make the decision to medicate him on my own.  My husband is still very adamant that he does not want his son medicated.  I can respect that position, really.  But, this is my child, too.  And, when I was seeing my child struggle to fit in and being in trouble all the time, I couldn’t just not do anything anymore.  I did what any good mother would do.  I got over myself and I helped my son.

Anthony is still Anthony.  I think the big fear in medicating a child for ADHD is the worry of losing your child’s personality.  That is not the case!  He still talks non-stop.  He is still the old soul who likes to drink tea and chat with adults.  His ADHD is still there.  We can be driving along talking about one subject and something will catch his eye and he will change subjects mid-sentence.  It amuses me.  Medication does not cure ADHD, only helps tone it down.  Now, he is not the boy who is always in trouble.  He can now complete two hours of homework without much fuss (what’s up with that second grade??).  He is doing well in school.  His teacher adores him.  He is still just Anthony.

Rhea Tabler blogs about her life raising (only) three boys in San Diego at  She is a retired surrogate, home-school dropout and loves to use her social media influences for good.  She would love it if you followed her on Facebook ( since that is where she spends all her free time!

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  1. You're absolutely right. Sometimes, there are medical conditions that need the help of medication and modern medicine no matter what else we do to try and help our kids control their conditions. I have 2 kids with behavioral issues. One is good with just therapy. The other one clearly needs medication and therapy. I can't imagine what it's like to be inside their heads without the medication. To be unable to control any of it even though they want to.

  2. Agreed Amanda. We tried everything else with Joshua and it wasn't until we tried medication that we even started to get anywhere. He does better at school, is not in trouble at home and feels better about himself now.

  3. I can completely relate to this. My son has made huge strides since starting on medication. I took him off for a few weeks last year and he was nearly suspended. Some kids really benefit from it.

  4. I'm glad you're feeling ok with your decision to try meds and know that we're all here to support you. <3

  5. I have to say the decision to try medication was not a hard one at all for me. My family still has issue with it. But I have a crazy, unruly child in the morning who takes one pill and becomes a straight A student. There is no way he could have a literally flawless grade point right now. With straight 100% A+s in every class without the help of medication.

  6. I respect your decision as a parent to do what you think is best for your family. I too have a child with severe behavior issues. I choose not to medicate and my sanity suffers daily as a result...:)

    I watched a movie on Netflix the other day that I think all parents with children who have behavior issues should watch. It was a real eye opener that's for sure. If you watch it, I'd love to get your opinion on it.

    The Medicated Child

  7. Oh wow, this is a decision I hope to never have to make. My children my need this option at a later date, it's not ADHD it's something different but I completely understand how difficult it must have been and even further how you and your husband may not agree. I hate the thought of medicating my child for anything, but somtimes it is the best.

    HUGS on this huge decision and that you and your husband are on the same page soon.

  8. This is such a helpful and positive post for parents who may have medication fears. This is wonderful!

  9. I think it has to do with the doctors. Some are good and give good meds for the ADHD and good advice. Glad he is ok

  10. This is such a hard decision, we made the choice to wait until my daughter was a teen, and I still worry we should have done it sooner.

  11. Very well put. We do overmedicate but sometimes ... medication is necessary. Glad it is working out for her child!

  12. a mom does what she feels is right for her child, and you did that! Great post and I thank you for sharing your story hon <3

  13. I can imagine that this is a hard decision for any parent. We always want to protect our children from the world and making a long term decsion to put your child on medication is one of those hard choices we have to make.

  14. I applaud u for making that decision and at least giving it a try. I know hubby and I both stood on the same line as your husband. We have not had to deal with this topic as of yet.

    bLessing to you and hope that wonderful things come from ANThony

  15. Such a sweet post. &You're so right- it's not about you as parents at all. It's about getting your son the help he needs- which is what it REALLY means to be a good parent.

  16. Every parent must do what is right for their children and you have my support.



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