Monday, September 12, 2011

4 Things Men Do That Piss Me Off

I figured that since I had written about annoying women traits already, I should probably be fair and write about the things that men do that get on my nerves as well. We need to keep it equal after all. Right? Now, I may be opposed to ever getting married again, but I am not a man hater. They have their place in every woman's life and some are truly amazing people, but just like women, they have their nerve grinding faults.

1. They Think Women Are Weak

Now, before all you men jump to claim you don't feel this way, if your buddy and your wife were in the same room with you and you needed to move the couch, who would you ask to do it? Yep, that is what I thought. Women are not weak. Some may act that way because they don't know any better, but if push came to shove, their strength would come shining through. I can lift a couch as good as the next guy, have come back from being penniless to owning my own home and have gone through a c-section and three natural births with no medication. Let's see some of you big tough men do that. P.S. if you are one of those men who think giving birth isn't that bad, watch this guy.

2. They Turn Into Cavemen When in Groups

Maybe it is the pack mentality or who knows what, but have you ever noticed that when men get in groups of two or more, their IQ's go down about 100 points? Now, I am sure there are exceptions to this rule, a work setting perhaps, but in a public recreational setting, their apparently are no rules of etiquette for groups of men. They may as well walk around with a big bat and start clubbing each other over the head. Oh wait, some already do. Raise your hand if you have been in a room with a group of men who did not have a competition of one sort or another?

3. They Don't Even Try to Aim

As a mom of four boys, I can attest to the fact that this trait starts early. Maybe they like the smell of pee-stained walls. Perhaps they are releasing their inner Picasso, or maybe those things are just harder to control than they look, but I am convinced that most guys do not even try to aim when going into the restroom. Have you ever been in a public men's room? Yuck!

4. Most Don't Have to Shave

Yep, that is right. I hate men because they don't have to shave, or wear makeup, or heels, or.... Well, I suppose the list could go on and on, but really it is just the hair part that gets on my nerves. If a man wanted to, he could go his whole life and never touch a razor once, let alone inflict the pain of waxing upon himself. As women, we must wax, shave, pluck, burn, laser or otherwise remove the hair from our bodies, or be deemed disgusting. Arms, legs, face, and every place in between must be free from hair. So yeah, all you hairy men annoy me!

That's it, see it wasn't too bad was it? Just remember men, let women lift the couch every once in a while, don't act like jerks when you are with a group of your friends, point that sucker in the toilet from time to time and don't brag about your body in all its hairy glory to us mostly hairless women.